A couple can try so much, but it is difficult to solve problems when you are dealing with two people individuals who have different perspectives. In some cases, the partners are unable to agree on what is the issues leave alone how to resolve it. Marriage counselors can help in mending the marriage as long as each of them puts in the required effort.
- Picking the Right Person
Marriage counseling sessions can only help you when you select a skilled counselor. Recommendations from prior clients and credentials can provide you with some useful ideas during the selection process. However, in most cases, choosing the right counselor narrows down to your personal chemistry. Therefore, the couple needs to pick a person who can work well with them.
Marriage counseling Denver is more effective when both the husband and wife are comfortable. At this point, the number of diplomas or accolades that are on the wall don’t matter. The session will not succeed if one of the spouses is not comfortable with the counselor. The couple should choose a therapist who will work within their religious, cultural, and personal beliefs.
- The Upside
The best marriage counselor should act as a mediator between these two conflicting parties. He or she has to make sure that both parties get equal representation in the negotiation. The therapist should also keep the entire session civil and productive. The counselor will give the couple the required advice and some exercises to help them work through the problem and get a solution. Such marriage sessions will work because the two parties get an exclusive opportunity to vent in an environment that is safe. Each of them will present his or her sore points, fears, and concerns without judgment or blame. The skilled counselor will gently prod or push the couples over the obvious complains into their deep underlying feelings.
- The Downside
The challenge with marriage counseling is that some couples visit the therapist expecting him to just ‘fix’ them and this may result in passive conversations. What these couples need to understand is that the primary responsibility of a marriage counselor is to provide guidance and both partners have to invest themselves wholeheartedly in the session to get realistic hopes for success.
The bitter truth is that most couples visit the counselor when the situation is beyond their control. The couples view marriage counseling as the last ditch before they make the final decision to divorce. You may discover that one of the parties is in the process of filing a divorce before even visiting a counselors office.
Such a mind tends to be counter-productive to counseling sessions. Marriage partners who don’t commit to this process will resist nearly all the advice and suggestions that these counselors provide. Some of them may even decide to absent themselves from the session. The worst bit is when they fake commitment and interest whenever they are in the presence of the therapist. You will find them becoming uncooperative again when they get back home.
Counseling will only work when the two parties commit to the whole process and marriage healing. Saving a marriage requires the couple to put in a lot of hard work. The two parties should invest a lot of effort and time so that the sessions can be productive. On the other hand, the counselor will balance the needs and personalities of the couple.